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What Goes Around Comes Around

February 7, 2012

What goes around comes around in life.  Through my breakup with the man that I have loved entirely, I have learned this the hard way.

When I first met him seven years ago, we were just starting school.  Through frequent study sessions / hanging out together with common friends, we started to get to knew each other more in a few weeks.  It was very innocent at first.  I simply enjoyed his company and learning about him as a friend, and mostly of all, it was comforting and exciting to get to know someone intimately amidst the excitement of what is probably the most defining period of our lives and our careers.  I noticed that he paid extra attention to me and was incredibly sweet (how could he not be? Even as I am writing this blog, he’s still the sweetest, most genuine person that I’ve know).  But I chose to ignore it, besides, he wore a ring and it was open knowledge that he has a girlfriend back at home.  In the times we hang out together with other friends, a voice in the back of my head whispered that he may like me more.  But I chose to ignore it-it was so easy that way.  Then one day after a thanksgiving dinner together with him and my roommate, when we were outside walking around the gym at night, he told me that he has broken up with his girlfriend at that time via email.  And that he liked me.

I would never date someone who has a girlfriend.  But he became single, and it made all the difference to me instantaneously. So we dated.  And I fell in love,  found a soul mate and a best friend over the course of seven years.

Today, as we have partied our way.  As he broken off the engagement (technically, I said the words), as he firmly told me that we will never be together in the future, I remember the night that I learned about his break up with his ex-girlfriend at that time.  I remember thinking that she was a country away, wondering if she cried a lot and how she felt at receiving a breakup via email.  I remember feeling guilty and disturbed.  But as always, and as in the next seven years, I ignored the small disturbed feeling inside me and I went towards him.  I danced around him, sparkled in his sweetness and in his love.

Today, as he told me that since our breakup of four weeks, it has been ages ago and asked me what in the god’s name am I talking about when I expressed to him that I am struggling with letting go.  I remember how fast his previous breakup was.  I am realized that what goes around comes around.

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